The art of finding a bride on Online Matrimonies

People it has been some time since I have blogged. Lot of people have been telling me that I should be writing more often, so here I am with my new post. I was thinking hard about what to write – should it be about some place I travelled to recently or about some sad movie review, but I decided to write about something interesting, as I know most of us would have gone through this experience of searching for profiles on online matrimonial sites.

I had been postponing registering on some online matrimonial site thinking that things happen pretty fast out there and once a profile is in you find a gal in a jiffy and I actually want to push things to be late and so I had been asking my folks to search for a bride through the most common matrimonial channel – the fully faltoo aunties J. How often have you been to some family function and aunties whom you hardly know are eager to get you engaged to their sister’s husband’s sister’s brother in law’s daughter? Gals have to bear the brunt most of the time but we guys are not left alone either.

However, as time passed by I came to know that leaving the search to the fully faltoo aunties is dangerous as the prospects these aunties were bringing were fully faltoo too. Now how willing I would be to marry some female from a small town who is proud of her Bachelor of Commerce education and her hobby is cooking. Being from a community that does not actually understand the importance of education, the criteria for a good bride is just that she should be good looking and she should be a good cook.

So then, I decided that I would register myself on Matrimonial sites. Now there are plenty of matrimonial sites but which site to choose, as there are plenty of them. Ok I had to choose Bharatmatrimony for sure as it is the one with the largest database of profiles. So I went about creating a profile for me on Sindhi Matrimony.com, it was a very tough exercise as it is not the ‘About Me’ section of orkut or facebook where you just have to blabber something. I had to spend proper time for a marketing campaign that could sell me asap. I was doing it around 1 am in the morning cos that is when I have time for all the faltoo work, but I did not know that these people would call up my mom in the middle of the night to verify the number that I had given during registration. Thank god, my mom thought it to be some wrong number or else I would have gotten a real good dose in the morning.

So the registration process is done the profile is screened and we are ready to go on the bride hunt. Now is when the interesting part starts. Right on the next day I get alerts on my Gmail saying that this gal has expressed interest in your profile. Like every anxious bachelor I was anxious to see the photo of the female (people be honest- we are bothered about the looks even before knowing the gals qualification and whereabouts). My curiosity soon turned into a disappointment. The lesser I talk about it the better.

And guys those who thought that arranged marriage is the easier way out, and love marriage is tough with lot of papad belna and all…. U had better rethink….

Now here is where I would like to classify women on matrimonial sites.

Category 1: Jisse Ham Dekhte hain Woh Hame dekhti nahi
There is no dearth of good-looking women or gals on matrimonial sites but like in the real world these gals have attitude too. Now it is your turn to express interest. You go through the profile (which is secondary), you check out the photographs and then take a call to contact the gal or not. Guys for your information 90% of the times you won’t be able to contact the gal you will be contacting the gal’s parents. Most of the gal’s profiles are put up by parents and it will be a long procedure even before you get to say a hi to her. Some profiles are online for chat but you may end up chatting to the gal’s mom instead of the gal – an unwanted bonus.
So now you have expressed interest and have your fingers crossed, but alas out of 4, two have rejected you- and that too with a sorry line ‘Your profile doesn’t meet my expectation, but keep searching you will get the gal of your dreams’, as if I care. Your friends do feel happy about the rejection and you hear lines like ‘You couldn’t have married her anyways, as I would have killed you of envy’.

Category 2: Jo Hame Dekhti hain who kise chahiye
This is the category, which is like a mini skirt – Long enough to serve its purpose, short enough to keep you interested. This is the category, which will give you the confidence to keep looking. There will be plenty of females and their parents expressing interest on your profile, which will definitely make you feel that you are being noticed. However, when you go through the profiles you will wonder if the gals are eligible for you or your grand dad. The less I talk about them the better.

Category 3: Hame Gale lagati hain, par sharmake bhaag jaati hain
Now this is an interesting category, you like the profile of a gal – either she has expressed interest or you have. So finally, there is mutual consent – both the parties like each other. Off course, you cannot be sure whether the gal likes you or her mom, but you have taken the first step in any case. Now is when contact details are exchanged and here is where the Matrimonial sites become smart, they don’t let the parties share the contact details until one party pays up. Now either you wait for the gal to pay up or you use your credit card. Guys like in real life it is the guy who has to shell out the bucks. Ok now the guy shares the contact details and even asks his parents to call up the gals parents. The gals parents say they need a couple of days to think about it. I wonder why they did not do the thinking in the first place. The guy waits anxiously for the couple of days to pass – and in Uday Chopra style (Dhoom fame) has two kids already. The gal’s parents are very prompt- they do respond on the third day but it is not a courteous message or mail. They just cancel interest and disappear. I wonder that they found that my actual profession is smuggling heroin.

So guys this has been my experience so far on Matrimonial sites. I heard my friends saying that there is more to this. As planets and particularly our dearest Mars plays havoc in creating in the so-called heavenly magic between two beings. My folks and I being in the south does not help either as most of our community is in North –West India. It has been an interesting journey so far, will keep you guys posted on this.

Last but not the least this post is written by me on a lighter note and if anybody is hurt then that is totally unintentional.

Pondicherry Trip – Fun and Anger

The title of this blog would not be making sense, how can fun and anger go together and why be angry when you are on a fun trip. Anyways you guys will get to know.

It’s was a normal routine day for me. Woke up at 4.50 am and hit the gym. I started for office around 9.15-9.30 am as usual. It was a dull and boring day, didn’t have much work to do too. My cousin called up and asked for my car, he and my second cousins had planned a trip to Pondicherry. They were already five so I had decided earlier that I won’t go, but when I handed over the keys to him those guys convinced me to come along and the next moment I was on my way to Pondicherry. (Of course after shedding my stupid formal attire). So a dull and boring day had turned into an exciting one. We started at 12.30 pm from Chennai and reached Pondicherry at 2.30 pm. We had lunch at a sea view restaurant called Ajantha. The food was decent but a slightly expensive for the kind of place it was. After having lunch we i.e. I, Arun, Honey, Priya, Arthi & her husband Jayant went for a walk on Gandhi beach. The sea breeze was soothing to the skin in the warm weather. Some movie was being shot at the beach and the only familiar face I saw was of the comedian Mayilsami, and I seriously wished I hadn’t seen it. The heroine looked familiar but was equally bad.

We were feeling sleepy so decided to have some coffee and what better place than a French coffee shop which faces the beach. I had a café late, a strong coffee with nice aroma but I needed a lot of sugar cubes as it was stronger than what I could drink. After having some nice coffee we went to a beach called Paradise beach. It’s a small island beach and you reach it on a motor boat. The journey was as enjoyable as the beach itself. After that we decided to check into some decent hotel. (Of course not one likes Hotel Decent :)). We zeroed in on Mother Sea View Residency after consulting a few friends. The rooms were good and we had a comfortable stay. After some rest and freshening up in the evening we decided to go to a pub. We went to this place called Asian Hotel, this place was nice but the music and lights were dormant. The pub comes to life during the weekends and alas we were there on a Tuesday. God makes sure when we have girls to accompany us to a couple entry place, the place is no fun. Poor married guys, the only time they laugh at us is when we don’t find girls and get shooed of from such places. A very small incentive for the huge price they pay.

The place was too calm and boring, but I got to drink fosters here which I wouldn’t have been able to in Chennai. We decided that we will go to some other place, so having a drink each we left for the hotel Ajanta. The view from the roof top was very nice and we spend a lot of time in the sea breeze. My tummy was full and couldn’t take more but Arun insisted on going to Pizza Hut and we did go there. After that we planned to go to Baskin Robbins but it was closed at that hour so we went to Le café again where we had nice Brownie with Vanilla Ice cream and Strawberry ice cream with Strawberries.

We retired for the day and the next morning we went to Aurobindo Ashram and Ganesh temple. The temple had good vibes which made us feel at peace. The Ashram was very peaceful and well maintained. The ashram had different kinds of flowers and they were well maintained. The ashram looked beautiful because of the flowers.

Now is when I get the news from my colleagues that the appraisal rating are out and they tell me that my ratings are screwed and I have got a third bucket which basically means you are among the last performers of the company. I was shocked and so were many of my friends because I was someone who was involved in lot of other initiatives other than my work. Have given domain training to resources of other accounts and have been proactive in my work. Sometimes you feel that the performance appraisal is a sham. I don’t know why companies fail in this exercise. It can ruin careers but still no proper investment and research goes into this area. The rationale behind my rating was that they had very less time to judge me, as I had joined only a few months earlier and so we were made the scapegoats. Those who joined after us got a default rating of second bucket and those who joined before us got first and second bucket. Why the hell do they even call it performance appraisal when it just relates to the time you have spent at the bloody work place? I was very angry the day I came to know this, but I know I cannot do anything about it. I know one day I will have to appraise people under me and I will know the difficulties then. I just want a better system which has clear metrics and which bases your rating only on the performance.

Let’s get back to the sea view of Pondicherry from the abyss of a bad rating. We went to the sacred heart church which reminded me that this town was a French town a few decades back. We started off our journey to Chennai, and courtesy of my A star it was a comfortable one.

Madurai – The city that never sleeps

I hail from the lovely and peaceful town of Madurai. I did my schooling and engineering from this place. It is known for the majestic Meenakshi Amman Temple. The temple was nominated as one of the wonders of the world. This is a very ancient city and was the capital of the Pandya Kingdom. Tamil the language is believed to have born in this very city. The river Vaigai flows through the city.Gandhiji forego his clothes and started being bare bodied after his visit to Madurai. The city thrives on its tourism and textile industry. The mention of the city Madurai to the Chennai guys usually welcomes a stare. The Tamil film industry has done its best to portray all the Madurai guys as ruffians who carry sickles inside their shirts. On the contrary Madurai is a very peaceful town.

The city is very conservative but is changing now. KK Nagar and Anna Nagar are the posh localities of the city and this is where you will find a lot of young population hanging out with their friends. The best places to visit in Madurai are its temples. Madurai people are crazy about movies and you will find many movie halls here, my favorite being the Mapilai Vinayagar theatre. Many good movie halls have come up in recent times, like Big Cinemas – Ganesh Theatre but during the days when I used to stay in Madurai Mapilai Vinagayar theatre was a craze. Watching a movie in that hall would make my day, and it was the only theatre in Madurai that would play English movies with an English audio. We do boast of a CCD that is at Anna Nagar and if you want to kill some time then it is one of the places you can check out. My friend owns a recreation cum picnic spot called Hawa Valley. This is some 20 kms drive from the city and has recreation facilities like Karting , Boating, hilly landscape and big lawns. It has a restaurant that serves good food. There is a coffee pub called Tornado at Chinna Chokikulam, which attracts the Madurai junta too.If you are planning for a one-day picnic then Alagar Temple and Vaigai Dam are the places you need to check out.

You would have heard that Mumbai is the city that never sleeps and there is activity all the time. Madurai is a city down south, which never sleeps. This is a city where you will find hot idlys at three in the morning. The teashops are open almost 24 hrs a day. Madurai is a transit point for all who travel to places like Kodaikanal, Munnar,Thekkady, Rameshwaram and Kanyakumari.

Most of the population is Tamil, but like any other city in India; you will find many Marwaris from Rajasthan. The main business market is around the Meenakshi Amman temple and you can find lot of Marwaris running theirs shops here. The other communities present in Madurai are Memans, Shikarpuri Sindhis and Sourashtrians. The Sourashtrians are a community unique to Madurai. These people originally were from the Sourashtra district of Gujarat. The invasion of Mohammed Ghazni drove them down south and they have not looked back since then.
If you want to know more about Madurai please leave a comment or you can mail me.